Why Your Bill Sucks: Senator Geri Thompson

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Your Bill

SB 104, Prohibiting retail stores from allowing a customer to try on intimate apparel in the store unless it is tried on over clothing or with a disposable shield and prohibiting a retail store from selling intimate apparel that has been tried on in violation of the prohibition.

Your Sponsors:

Senator Thompson & None

Your supporters

Raise your hand if you’ve ever used a dental dam. Then this bill to require you to wear a sheet over your privates when you try on clothes is for you!  Even command economy micromanagers in the U.S.S.R. the Palm Beach Post editorial board wouldn’t think to require this level of strict inventory control.

What has always sucked

The only thing more insane than this bill, is the reason Senator Thompson filed it. You can almost feel the paranoia and fear that rushed over Senator as she felt the wetness of soiled skivvies on a pre-anniversary shopping trip. This bill would be an understandable reaction to that scenario for a powerful Senator.

However, Thompson told the Tampa Bay Times that “the Ebola outbreak in West Africa has inspired her to push for this bill.


Even if Ebola was a problem in Florida, people who deal with this disease wear full on spaceman suits and practically gargle with raw bleach. What would a thin panty liner do to stop the spread of this extremely infectious disease?

What’s new that sucks

Can you picture the dejected Senator Thompson around week 5 of last year when she realized she may have to endure another year of somebody else’s soiled underwear?

Even in Africa, Ebola infections have declined. Infections in the United States are non-existent. Yet Senator Thompson presses on in an attempt to pry into thousands of dressing rooms throughout the state. Continuing to pursue this useless big government gambit is just government for government’s sake.

What might not suck

If Thompson changed the official name of the bill to the “Panties Protection Act,” and brought in Victoria Secret models to demonstrate the liner, it may get the most watched hearing of session.

Hear it from Senator Thompson

Thompson has been silent about this bill. Perhaps she has found wisdom in Proverbs 17:28.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.


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